Riding the Roller Coaster with Grandma

Life can be such a roller coaster ride. That is the best way I can describe the last 48 hours of my life. Almost exactly 48 hours ago (Monday night) I received a call that my Grandmother who is 91 years-young, had been rushed to the ER with excruciating pain and only vague responsiveness. I was then up for a majority of the night checking e-mails for any new news and discussing with my husband possible scenarios and how we should respond.
By the next morning, it had been determined that she had a urinary tract infection, and IV antibiotics had been started, so things seemed to be better (7 hours away from me). My mother and I were already discussing driving up, but Mom thought we could wait until the next morning (Wed.). Then at 11:00am we received a call that she was being moved to CCU due to rising fever and dropping blood pressure. HALT LIFE! GRAB WHAT YOU CAN! GET IN THE CAR AND GO! I picked up Mom, then my aunt and we headed for VA receiving snippets along the way at first not so encouraging: possible sepsis, kidney function not what it should, pain worsening. Why does it have to be so far to get there!?!
Then came the call around 3:00pm that she was doing a little better, talking like herself, not in as much pain, blood pressure stabilizing. The three of us breathed a collective sigh of relief, not realizing we had been breathing shallowly up to that point. By the time we reached the hospital, grandma was doing better, but they had done an MRI and pinpointed that there was also an abscess in her hip and now it was time to WAIT again for the doctor to tell us what this means. Can it aspirated with a needle? Will it need surgery? Is she strong enough for surgery?
Waiting for the morning seemed like forever. Althoug we were tired, sleep would not come. The conversations ranged from what had happened to family members with similar situations in the past to what if the doctor ask what measures do we go to if complications arise during an operation. I didn't know if my heart would beat out of my chest or stop all together listening to these conversations. I know MENTALLY that 91 years is a long life, but that does not mean that I or anyone else is ready for her to leave us. We pray that is not GOD's plan for her yet.
Finally the Doctor comes to talk to just the one representative (per CCU policy). So the rest of us WAIT again until the information is relayed. There is no other option if she is to have a chance, they must operate to fully clean out the infection that has set up in her hip. YES it is risky for a 91 year-old and YES it is even more risky because she does have sepsis, but without this there is no possibility of recovery. THERE IS NO OTHER CHOICE. Even Grandma agrees and says, "Let's do it NOW. I've have two hip replacements, and I've never had pain this bad in my life." So we pray and we will have to WAIT. Will she make it? Is she strong enough? No one wants to say out loud that the odds are not great, or even think it. We all get to go back to tell her we love her before they take her to the O.R., and though no one let's a tear fall in the room, each eye brims, and voice pitch raises just slightly.
Now we must WAIT FOR THE LONGEST TIME YET. They say the procedure will take two to three hours, but it seems to stretch for days, the hands of he clock seeming to slow to near motionlessness. Then at the two hour mark the call comes that she has done okay and they just have to close, then the doctor will be out to talk to us. We are all at the edge of our seats with each foot step that nears the waiting room doors. The hands of the clock seem to speed up at first to normal pace, then with increasing speed. As the time continues to pass with no doctor, our minds begin to wonder, has something gone wrong? Why would he not come? What would be keeping him? We ask the attendant and although she is trying to reassure us that sometimes it takes a while to "close" she acknowledges that she too has been watching that clock move much too fast. Finally, after such confusion and worry the doctor appears and ALL is well. RELIEF!! They have gotten all the infection and expect her to have no more trouble from the hip. We still have to deal with the sepsis, but she is SOOO much better than two days ago and fighting so hard.
We get to go back and see her once she is settled back in CCU and she says that she feels great, like she hasn't even had surgery. Her vitals are great. She is talking, smiling, and laughing and just like her old self, as if she were just setting in her kitchen. I even heard she had mentioned to someone that she was ready to go home. :) That's my Grandma. Hopefully this roller coaster ride is over with only the smooth ending into the loading house to get off. We need Grandma for a while longer.